drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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