Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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