u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have fence marks all over my body
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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