I wish my penis had an off switch
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
