and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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