I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
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