Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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