i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
