There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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