She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
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Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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