I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
