Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sponge bath it is.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
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someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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