Do you still have your period?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
