I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
