He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize