how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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