just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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