Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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