we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
