just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
