Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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