We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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