i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
