i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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