Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
