So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
