Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
