dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
