It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
