# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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