ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
