Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
