So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
