I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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