i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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