I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
