You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
