When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
