Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
