So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
