Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

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(650): View more from California

I feel great

(650): View more from California

I just peed on a car

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.

(706): View more from Georgia

Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...

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(304): View more from West Virginia

my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

(513): View more from Ohio

is this your pickup line?

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.

(303): View more from Colorado

Some perfection is debatable.

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(630): View more from Illinois

she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?

(651): View more from Minnesota

That's yours. We cut you off.

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(520): View more from Arizona

If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death

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(914): View more from New York

I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?

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