Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.