all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."