glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.