Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.