Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?