dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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