She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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