Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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