i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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