I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
