i think i have herpe
just one?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
