Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
