you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
