It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
