you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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