i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
