Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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