He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize