a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
