That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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