if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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