if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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