that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
