HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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